need to work on my writing abilities

i noticed that what i write does not exactly match with what i have in my mind..case in point..
my comment in teju's post ..
now when i read that..i feel it has come out in a diff vein altogether..
also my comment to my previous post sounds so childish :(

iisc remains elusive...

shit...
i 'failed' to make it to iisc..
i hate this, i hate this, i hate this.......uuuuuuuuugggggghhhhhh
i flunked in serc test ..which was my last chance...
there is this urge in me to give it one more shot..but hell i know i cant...i hate this
i hate my inability to make good use of the given chance, i hate the fact that i did not give it my best, i hate the fact that i repeat the same mistakes....

scary..

I have recurring sinusitis for quite sometime, but have been ignoring it or taking some common tablets like sinarest. I know i have sinusitis when i feel something running down with full force in my forehead when i bend, which has become a common occurence.
I did not know treatment for recurring sinusitis may include surgery..i did not know that this awful thing has so many implications..i did not realise that this could be the reason behind my failed attempt at scuba diving and giddiness in high altitude..shit i am scared.... i dont want anybody operating my nose.

Ignoring the obvious..

and looking for an involved solution, for an 'apparently' complex prob is what i excel at. Infact i remember one of my female friend saying that all men do the same.. complicate all problems/situations and find the most complex soln to it..and feel proud that a hard prob was solved..
guess she is right..in my case atleast..